Monday, October 26, 2009


“Yes?” I answered my secretary Bola over the intercom. “Mrs.Obie is on the line for you, ma’am” She said. Mrs.Obie is the editor-in-chief of Poise. “Please Put her on” I replied. They no go let person rest, I muttered. “Delores, how are you this morning.” Mrs. said. “Good morning, Mrs.Obie” I said, “I’m very well, thanks and you?” “We thank the lord, my dear” She replied. Who’s this one deceiving? I thought. Why’s she now acting all nice and caring? Mschewww, like I didn’t know she tried to get me and Kiki demoted. About two weeks ago, she filed a report to the publishers saying although Kiki and I were working our hardest, we just weren’t experienced enough for our jobs. Wondering how I found out? Her assistant, Mike apparently has a thing for tall girls and couldn’t stand the thought of me leaving the floor. It’s good to have trips in high places, init?
“Christian Laire, the photographer is coming into the country tomorrow morning” Mrs. continued. Why’s she telling me what I already know? “Yes, ma’am. I knew that. His appointment is on Wednesday.” I tied my best not to sound cold. “I was wondering if you could entertain him tomorrow evening. You know, show him some of our rich Lagos night-life”. Ehnnnnn??? Night-life kó, night-life nìí. This woman was just all kinds of crazy. “Me? Ah. I don’t think my husband will like that very much oh” I said as respectfully as I could. (Even if she was a bitch, she was still wayyy older than me). She was silent for about a minute then, “Weeellll, I guess I didn’t remember you were married”. Thank God my mama taught me to respect elders especially bosses. I kept quiet. “In that case….don‘t bother. My intentions weren’t to inconvenience you in any way. I jus thought dinner with one of us would help in cementing the bond we’re trying to form with Mr.Laire”. The guilt trip? Hiss. “Maybe I should get back to you; I might be able to make it after all”, I said lying through my teeth. I remembered what the driver I had growing up used to say- “Yes no dey cause fight”. At least she would be off my case.
She said that would be very kind of me then hung we hung up. It was time to go home!!!
Couldn’t wait to see my baby after all the drama. I gathered my stuff, poked my head into Kiki’s office to say bye then I was off!

“Baby, I’m by The Palms. Where are you?” I said once Layefa picked up the phone. I had never been so excited to see my husband. “Chill lemme call you back. There’s a LASTMA guy in front of me”, He replied. “Oh.Ok.Talk to-”, I was saying as he cut the line. Those Lastma officials could be darn scary so I blew his shirtless picture on my phone a kiss then continued on my way home. The traffic after The Palms was not even a joke at all. Serious bumper to bumper situation. I just kept thanking God for air conditioning and the car stereo. Layefa called me:
“Hey Dee, I’m in trouble oh” he didn’t sound like he was. “Did the LASTMA guy arrest you?” I asked as gently as I could (I wasn’t ready for another lesson on ‘extreme paranoia’). “The fool jus collected all the cash I had. I had to turn back to get more money.” He replied. I wasn’t getting the point. How was he in trouble? “So you’ve turned back? How are you now in trouble?” I said. “Yeah. Akin now called me and asked me where I was. When I told him, he said I should come back to the office oh” he sounded genuinely sad. All I could say was “Oh”. My mouth literally hung open for about thirty seconds. “Babyyy-” he started to say just as the car behind me rammed into my car. “Oh Shit! I’ve been hit! I’ll call you back” I cried breathlessly unfastening my seatbelt.Apparently while i was busy talking to Layefa, other cars were moving. By the time i got out of the car, the idiotic driver had swerved to the mext lane and was driving away. slamming my hands on the car, there was no four-letter word that didnt come out of my mouth.
Meanwhile, Layefa was calling my phone which was inside the car frantically. Some fool driving past yelled, "Move your fucking car bitch! Dents dont stop cars from moving!". I was too weak to even think up a meaner retort. I got back into my car and spde angrily all the way home. How did the road just suddenly become free, i thought. Layefa kept calling but i didnt pick up. I had the feeling i would scream at him if i did. Misplaced anger could cause something else.

finally, i got home. After a shower and a cup of coffee, I called Layefa. "My car is dented oh" i said calmly. coffee does wonders, doesnt it? "Shit! Baby, i'm so sorry!" he replied. "You close?" i asked. I was really missing my husband. "Uh... Wha-...I was- " he stuttered. "Baby, I'm still at work." He finally said.


Myne Whitman said...

Ahhh I smell a fish ooo. Good writing girl.

cutee said...

Yea i smell something too...
Nice piece

BBB said...

ok now it gets interesting

a hopelessly clueless teenage gurl.. said...

y'all jus wait and see wat happens nxt!