Saturday, November 21, 2009


Stepping out of a black 2009 Camry in a black wrap dress and yellow Manolos (you

heard me, yellow!) was Elohor! What the hell was she doing here? At this time?

She hurriedly crossed the street and slipped into our compound. “Is that Elohor?”

Layefa said driving in. Duh! Climbing out of the car, we walked towards the gate

where she was standing. “Elohor! What are you doing here?” Layefa asked hugging his

sister. “Hello Elohor”, I said quietly. “I was in the neighbourhood oh. I was just

like lemme check on my baby brother.” She replied tossing her hair. In the

neighbourhood, my ass! I’m sure the busybody came to check on us. She probably

noticed something was amiss between Layefa and me yesterday. “Oh, really” Layefa

said as we all headed for the front door, “We’re just on our way back from church.”.

She nodded.

Once we entered, I headed straight to the kitchen. I couldn’t risk Elohor

questioning my hosting skills. I set three glasses and a jug of apple juice on a

tray and carried it to the living room where Layefa and Elohor were sitting. “Here

you go” I said offering her a glass. “What is it?” she asked looking up at me. What

did it look like, Ode? I said in my mind. “It’s apple juice. It’s from M&S.” I

replied. Shaking her head she aid, “Eww. Please take it away. I don’t like apple

juice”. I set the glass down and didn’t even offer her anything else. I sat beside

Layefa on the two-seater couch. They talked about irrelevant nonsense for a while

before she finally said, “I’d better get going”. Stealing a glance at my watch, I

realised how time had passed. It was 9:30.

“Say hello to Emeka and the girls” I said as we walked her to her car. “Sure, I

will.” She said hitting the button on her keys to unlock her car. Just as she was

about to slip into her seat, she came back out and asked, “So is this the hair

y’all were in a hurry to go do?”. With a smirk she slipped back into her car and

revved her engine. I couldn’t believe my ears! Did she actually just diss my 5

grand haircut? She waved at us as she drove off. I turned to Layefa and he just

shrugged (as usual).

“Bola, please call him again” I said to my assistant over the intercom. “Right away”

she replied. Chris Laire was really getting on my nerves. Who the hell did he think

he was anyway? I wasn’t going to give him the chance to cancel our appointment

again. Ah ahn, ki lo de? (Ah ahn, what is it?) I thought hissing. It was almost noon

and we still hadn’t heard from him.

As I was pacing about my office, Bola beeped me. “Did you get him?” I asked. “He’s

here!” she replied excitedly. “Huh? Here?” I asked. “Yes!” she confirmed. “Okay.

after exactly two minutes usher him in.” I replied. I smoothened my hair, hurriedly

re-arranged my desk and walked over to the door.

He knocked. I waited for about ten seconds then I opened the door. Lets just say, he

was beyond my expectations. Wayyy beyond.

Dang! There he was, six foot and a few inches tall, dark, rocking a fitted grey suit

with his Tyson Beckford frame. But trust homegirl now, I had to get over myself

fast. I quickly smiled and ushered him in.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


“You got your bible?” Layefa asked as he turned the key in the ignition. I nodded and he drove out. I turned on the car stereo and inserted my Lady Gaga CD. We sang along with the songs we knew but skipped the rest. I wore my jewellery and hurriedly applied my make-up.

“We’re late, shey?” Layefa asked as we approached the church building. “Not really sha” I replied unbuckling my seatbelt and stealing a glance at watch. It was just 6:07. Layefa quickly parked the car and we got out. We walked briskly hand in hand into the church. I waved at one of the ushers I was familiar with before we took our seats at one of the middle pews.

In the middle of the service while Pastor Tapu was preaching, Layefa tapped my thigh then whispered in my ear, “Have I told bout Saida at all?” I shook my head and gestured that I was tryna pay attention to the Gospel. “Sorry oh” he said pulling away. My baby could be so dense at times. Why would he pick the middle of the Gospel to tell me about some rude lady-friend of his? I wasn’t jealous sha so I poked him playfully in the ribs with my pen and said, “You should listen too”.

“Girl you gon’ think, girl you gon’ think…” Layefa sang along with Trey Songz on the radio as we drove back home. “That Trey dude is rather hot oh” I said playing with his fingers. “He is?” Layefa asked. “Yes oh.He’s like the hottest thing on MTV right now. Seriously. You need to hear how Kiki’s younger sister was going on about him the last time I was at their house!” I said. “What is so special bout him sef? Those razz tattoos? Na wa oh! Girls!” Layefa said. Then we started arguing about the tattoos in question. In the middle of our argument whether trey’s tattoos were razz or cool, Saida called again.

“Hey Saida”, Layefa answered. “I’m all right. How bout you?” he said after she’d probably asked him how he was. “Is that right?” he said trying to choke back laughter. “You’re not serious Saida!” “I don’t know about that oh” “Where are you by the way? It’s rather noisy” “Me? Uh…that lekki road oh. Just passed Chicken Republic.” “I’m on my way home from church” “Yeah.Evening service”. “It’s inside phase 1.Yeah” “Really? Eeyahh.” “Like in about fifteen minutes”. He laughed out loud then, “Sure. All right then.” He laughed again then, “Okay, no problem. Later!” He hung up.

The babe must have been funnier than Chris rock cuz Layefa was still chuckling after he hung up. “Ehen! You said I haven’t told you about Saida?” he said turning towards me. “You’ve not told me oh”, I said, “Abeg eyes on the road oh” I added. Turning back to the road he said, “She works with the Lagos Development Bank. They’re partnering with us for this Fashola case”. I nodded. “She’s only twenty-eight but she’s one of the oga’s in the legal department. She’s so fucking smart! She even got a first class from Oxford!” he continued excitedly. “Wow. She sounds real smart. When did y’all pair up?” I threw in before he could sing the bitch anymore praises. “Just this Friday oh. But she’s like so friendly so once we exchanged numbers and email addresses, we just started flowing. Cant believe it skipped my mind to tell you.” Layefa replied. “Oh. I bet she is. She’s kinda pretty too” I said looking up at Layefa. He looked at me weirdly. That’s right buster! I saw her picture with half her breastices out, I said in my mind. “You saw the picture? Well, I guess she’s all right. Just there. You know how these Janded girls are now, when they get your number, they get your caller picture with it. I decided to get hers too. Just for fun, you know” he said as he drove into vgc. I was going to say “Layefa, that girl was not ‘Just there’ and you know it” but instead I said, “Uh huh”.
Just as Layefa pulled up in front of the house, you wouldn’t believe what I saw coming out from the car parked across the street.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Drying my hands on my towel, I said, “Who is it?” “Some Tunde guy” Layefa replied handing me the phone. “Tunde?” I asked. The only Tunde that came to mind there and then was Tunde from accounting. I didn’t even know he had my phone number. “Delores, how are you?” he replied. Hearing the cheerful voice, I knew it was definitely Tunde Ojo. “Hi Tunde! I’m good oh. How u dey?” I said. “I jus dey oh. Just thought to check on you” he replied. “Awww. How sweet of you”. I said. “Yeah. That and I just heard some mother call her daughter Delores. As in I was so shocked that people actually still name their kids Delores” Tunde continued. “You’re not serious oh. What are you trying to say? That Delores is a yamayama name?” I joked. He laughed, then said “At all oh...don’t mind me joh. How is your husband?” “He is very well, thank you. How are your sister and her family?” I said. “They are all good, thanks to God. It was really nice talking to you today, Delores,” he replied. “Yeah, you too, Tunde. See you tomorrow?” I said. “Yeah, have a lovely day,” he replied. We hung up. I looked at Layefa. He had this ‘I’m-not-even-gonna-ask look. The last time we talked about Tunde, I was complaining about how his constant cheerfulness irritated me. I just shrugged and threw the phone back on the bed. As I headed to the closet to pick out an outfit, Layefa said, “It’s like I’m going to shower oh”. “Better be fast sha…”, I started to say when I saw the clock. “it’s four-thirty!”. The service started at six sharp so we had to leave the house by five or be late.
I picked out one of my favourite Ankara dresses and placed it on the bed. Just as I was picking shoes, Layefa’s phone rang. “Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire…” his phone blared. It took me about a twenty seconds to find it under the pillow.
It was some Saida chic. He even had her picture saved with her number. “Layefa! Phone!” I yelled opening the bathroom door. “Huh?” he asked.
I decided to just pick up. “Hello?” I said. “Sweetie…” a sultry female voice with a thick mixture of British and Hausa accent replied. I almost said “Sweetie? Bitch you must have the wrong number!” but my momma taught me better than that. And really, what was the big deal in a lady calling Layefa. I mean he was totally cool when he picked up Tunde’s call. Right?
Clearing my throat I said, “Uh…Layefa’s in the bathroom right now. He’ll call you back, ok?”. I can swear I heard her mutter, “Damn! I can imagine!”. But then she said, “Oh. Alright then.” She replied and hung up immediately. No thank you? Did I sound like a fucking receptionist? Hissing, I slipped on my dress and shoes.
“Dee, what were were you saying?” Layefa said coming out of the bathroom. “you had
a phone call,” I said, “Saida”. His mouth formed an ‘O’ as he hurriedly threw a shirt on. It was five minutes to five. We were practically late already.
“You picked up? What did she say?” he asked. “Oh. Nothing. Told her you’ll call her back”, I replied. He nodded just as he zipped up his trousers. “You ready?” he asked gesturing towards the clock. I grabbed my jewellery and make-up purse, stuffed them in my bag and said, “Yep, meet ya downstairs!” if he wasn’t going to talk about the Saida babe, why should I?

Sunday, November 15, 2009


“You like?” I said twirling in front of Layefa. I had just gotten back from the salon. Got my hair did finally. I couldn’t believe my natural hair could look so fab!
“Sexy,Sexy,and Sexy!” he cried excitedly.
We had stayed in all morning. I made one skenzy Mexican breakfast like this. Damn! It sure was yummy, if I do say so myself. I made a joke that Mexican food was so sexy, we should probably name one of our kids a Mexican name. We both laughed and started suggesting funny Mexican names. I hoped Layefa took the joke to mean that I took the previous night’s conversation seriously. I’m not saying my feelings about having kids changed overnight; I’m just saying I now have a more open mind.
“Why, thank you, Hun!” I said planting a kiss on his cheek, “Missed ya”. “Me too” he replied circling his hands around my waist. We had been al close and tight since last night. Layefa planted soft kisses on my lips as we stood locked in a tight embrace. I woulda loved for us to continue an all but I didn’t want to mess my hair up barely thirty minutes after getting it done.
“So, you wanna get ready for church?” I asked pulling away. “Aw,c’mon, we’ve got like two more hours to get ready”, Layefa said pulling me back. A smile escaped my lips. Abi this one thinks I’m ready to start trying for kids right now? “I need a shower, babe” I said. Feigning a sulk, he let go of my hands. Blowing him an apologetic kiss, I headed upstairs. I always showered after getting my hair done. All the hairspray and hair strands all over my back just got on my nerves. I turned on the heat while I undressed.
“♫You’re just like poison, slowly moving through my system…breaking all my defenses with time…you’re just like poison, and I just don’t get it how can something so deadly feel so right…♫.” I sang using my hair brush as a microphone.
“Ah ahn! E no easy oh…even Beyonce couldn’t have sung that better!” Layefa said slipping into the bedroom. Grinning, I threw the brush at him playfully. “Be psyching me oh”. He caught it and threw it back at me grinning too. “Ah, Dee, lemme tell you one crazy ass gist I heard today” Layefa said falling on the bed. “Tell me while I shower. I’ll leave the bathroom door open” I replied trying to fit my hair into a shower cap. There was no way my sexy hair would get wet. On the first day too.
I managed to get all my hair in then I climbed into the shower. “Oya start” I called to Layefa. “Ok. So Daniel called me today. He’s in real deep shit mehn” He started. He moved closer to the bathroom so I could hear him better. “So back in Chicago he was seeing this Indian chic. You know how those Indian babes are naww. Too good to be true and all”, He continued. “They aint got nothin’ on ya sha” he quickly added. “You got that right” I called from the bathroom. “Anyways, they had been seeing each other randomly for about a month when Daniel knocked her up” Layefa said. “Ahhh.Shettt.” I said. “That’s not even the crazy part oh. You know how religious and shit them Indians are? The babe was now trying to get him to marry her!” Layefa said. I chuckled at the thought. That was the sorta thing a Nigerian would be accused of doing not the other way around. He told me all about how the babe actually confessed that she stopped taking her pill on purpose. That she loved him and didn’t want to lose him blah blah blah. She even tried to bribe him with American citizenship. Layefa and I laughed so hard at that: An Indian trying to entice a fellow Immigrant with American citizenship. According to the babe, she was already processing her green card.
“Some girls are just crazy!” I said coming out of the bathroom. “I swear mehn” Layefa muttered. “So what’s Daniel gonna do?” I asked while I dried myself. “You mean what has he already done? My boy fled home strrraaiight!” Layefa answered checking himself out in the mirror. “You think I should shower too?” he asked. I shrugged heading back to the bathroom for my lotions.
“Feel it coming in the air…” my ring tone blared. “Baby! Please get my phone! My hands are wet!” I yelled. “Hello? Delores’ phone” I heard him say. “Who are you?” he sounded irritated. Who could it be? I thought poking my head out of the bathroom.

Friday, November 13, 2009


After we had both changed out of our outfits, I headed for the kitchen to fix us drinks. I’m not much of a drinker so I mixed three quarters of sprite with a quarter of red wine. I called it Red Spriza. I carried the glasses to the living room where Layefa was sitting. “Thanks, baby” he said taking his drink. “So, uh…well, it seems like you have really good taste in baby things” I said searching for words. Ever since he told me, my mind had been wandering non-stop. I was thinking a gazillion thoughts at once. Did he really want kids? Was that why he’d been acting weird? Was he even telling the truth? Could he have constructed the story on the way home? Did I have any reason to be skeptic? Since when did Layefa find it hard to talk to me? I tried my best to control the whirlwind of thoughts though.
“I guess. But baby, shey you know there’s no pressure. Really, this is up to you. I just thought we should talk about it cuz we haven’t in a while and our minds may have changed since the last time we had this whole kids or no kids talk” he replied. I sipped my drink and nodded. I didn’t really have much to say. My mind surely hadn’t changed. That’s not to say I couldn’t try to change it though.
“There’s something else.” Layefa said placing his drink on the table. He rubbed his palms together, took a deep breath then looked up at me. The expression on my face was: what the hell is it this time, Layefa? I was really getting tired of listening to explanations.
“Remember when I said mom hadn’t gotten the results of her check-up exam?” he started. I nodded then he said, “Well, they found a lump in her right breast”. I didn’t even know when I jumped out of my seat. “OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! JESUS!” I cried throwing myself at Layefa. But she seemed so healthy, I thought. No wonder she couldn’t make the get-to-together!
“Chill, Dee”, Layefa tried to calm me, “It wasn’t malignant!” I wasn’t even listening to him anymore. I just couldn’t believe the deadly C had caught someone in our family. I started sobbing on his shoulder when he shook me and said louder, “Dee, it wasn’t malignant!” “Oh” I said straightening up. “It really scared her though. She called me at work and we spoke for almost an hour talking about ‘what-ifs’. She was trying really hard not to bring up the topic of us not having kids and I could tell. I don’t know, Dee. I mean, if we could just do it for her…” he broke off into silence.
Shit. Which kain thing be this now? I stared at the floor unsure of what to say. Before I could even sigh, my message tone blared. Saved by the bell, shey?
I quickly rushed to get my phone from the table where I’d left it. You wouldn’t believe who it was- Mrs.Obie! On a freaking Saturday too!

Good evening, Delores. Sorry to bother you during the weekend. Mr.Laire just confirmed the rescheduling of his appointment. You will be meeting with him at 10 on Monday.

Whatever, I thought. I walked over to where Layefa sat on the couch. Taking his hand, I said, “Baby, we’ll work it out”. He nodded.

“What about your hair?” Layefa asked me. We had been watching the E! THS of the Kardashians for like the hundredth time! “I’ll go tomorrow”, I said, “I’m not even getting up from where I am right now for anything”. “Ok oh” he replied tickling my sides. Giggling I cried, “Stop! C’mon, stop!” I totally love making up with Layefa. We stayed cuddled in front of the TV all night.
When it was past two in the morning and we still hadn’t gone to bed, Layefa said, “Babes, it’s like we’re stabbing church today again”. “Let’s go for the evening service”, I replied, “I’ll get my hair done in the morning”.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


“Funmi?” I said as she picked up on the fourth ring. “Dee, how far now?” Funmi answered, “Where are you?”. “I’m in the bathroom at my in-laws house oh. It wasn’t an emergency after all. Thanks for worrying jare.” I replied. “No wahala. I even told Kiki to call you too. Did she?” Funmi said. “Yeah, Just now”, I said checking out my hair in the mirror. I guess it did look kinda hot the way it was. After we hung up, I adjusted my dress, stuck my purse under my arm and left the bathroom.
Everyone had moved into the living room. They were on a conference call with Mrs. Thompson who was in England, Sarah (Layefa’s oldest sister who lived in Canada) and Novo (Layefa’s oldest brother who lived in Texas). Yes oh, technology has advanced like that. Layefa signaled to me to come say hello.
“You guys, Delores is here now” Layefa said into the speaker phone. I said hello to everyone real quick then they got back to suggesting baby names. It was some long ass call mehn. After forty-three minutes, Mr. Thompson decided it was time for everyone to say their goodbyes. “You all have cell phones, you can call them later” he said.
Layefa made a big show of checking his watch for the time before he announced, “Delores and I have to leave oh. We both have hair appointments to get to. Man, how time flies!”. Everyone including me just looked at him like he was crazy. We both had hair appointments? That was the lamest excuse I ever heard for leaving a family gathering.
I quickly looked away before anyone noticed my surprised look.
We hugged everyone goodbye then headed to the car. “Thanks again!” Tejiri and Kome called as they waved us goodbye.

“Aaahh” I yawned stretching once I had strapped in my seatbelt. “What a day, shey?” Layefa said reversing into the street. “Uh huh” I muttered. We drove in silence for a while before I hit the stereo button. Layefa reached for my hand as I was about to pull away and said, “You know I’m sorry, right?”. “What exactly are you sorry for, Layefa? Why do you even have to be-” I was saying before he shushed me. “Baby, lets get home, please?” he begged. Hmmmn, this one that he has been saying we should get home first, I hope this isn’t one of those I-think-you-should-sit-fist situations, I thought.
“Whatever” I said brushing his hand away and turning towards the window. “I just thought I should let you know I’m sorry for whatever this is”. Layefa said turning his attention back to the road. We were silent again. Even when Empire State of Mind(Our jam) came on, we were still fronting. Thankfully, the usually crazy lekki traffic was minimal.
Just as we were driving into v.g.c, I lost it. I couldn’t wait anymore. My mind had been racing for almost forty-five minutes. Even though I knew we were practically three minutes from the house, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
“Pull over,Layefa.Now!” I said firmly. He must have known I wasn’t playing cuz he did just that mehn. He didn’t even argue, he just parked at the side of the road .”Please just tell me whatever you want to say”, I said almost crying, “Abeg I can’t chill again, Layefa, seriously.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to face him.
“Fine.” He replied unbuckling his seatbelt and facing me too. He told me how he’d known about Tejiri being pregnant ever since but he’d been working really hard to ensure I didn’t find out.
“Why on earth would you do that?” I cried. For some strange reason, I thought there and then I was gonna find out that the baby was his or something crazy stupid like that. Fortunately, Layefa didn’t say anything like that. He said that he’d been considering how to bring up the topic of us trying to have kids just before Tejiri told him about her pregnancy. He said he was waiting for the right time to tell me about having our own kids and he thought he’d tell me together with Tejiri’s news. The Fashola case kept him occupied so he didn’t have enough free time to compose how he’d bring it up. When the time for the baby shower came, he ordered all the cute stuff Tejiri kept thanking us for, online and sent them to her. “I deleted the invitation she sent to your mailbox and replied it telling her you were swamped with work but would send your gifts” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. I didn’t even know what to ask first. I just stared open-mouthed at him. “Close your mouth, Dee” he said startling me. My mind wasn’t even there at all. I couldn’t believe all this time Layefa wanted a child but couldn’t tell me.
“Let’s go home” I finally said.

Monday, November 9, 2009


yay!!! the tenth episode! i fell so good zbout that. thank you to everyone that has indulged in my juvenile writing. its not so poloshed, i know. thanks for reading anyway. remember to have at the back of your mid that delores voice is the voice over narrating just like everybody hates chris or gossip girl.x
I ran my hands over my dress over and over again in my state of confusion. Layefa is a fish mehn. Why on earth should he put me in this position, I thought. Was I supposed to act like I was just hearing about the baby? Or should I make up some lame excuse for not calling earlier? Better yet, I should-.

“Delores darling! How are you? Thanks again for everything!” Tejiri said as she reached my side. Felicia had collected the baby from her hands. My confusion accelerated by 100 just then mehn. What the hell was Tejiri on about? I didn’t detect sarcasm in her voice, though so I didn’t wrinkle my face or anything.
Pasting on that Julia Roberts smile again, I stood up and motioned for her to hug me. “Tejiri, you look great! So does the lovely princess!” I replied. “We thank God oh”, “Kome hon, come and thank Delores” she said to Kome who was greeting Timi and Elohor. Immediately, he turned towards me and motioned for a hug. I hope my face didn’t let them know what I was thinking which was ‘Huh? Waris all this thanks about?’
“Thank you so much. We really appreciate everything. Tejiri is especially in love with those lovely blankets. You have really good taste oh, Delores” Kome said. I just grinned not sure what else to do. “Oh, so it was Delores that got you guys those lovely baby things?” Felicia asked. Tejiri nodded and said, “I told you now. She practically got us everything in the nursery. They’re adorable right?”. “But she wasn’t at the baby shower so….?” That fat bitch Elohor was saying as Layefa and Emeka walked in.

“Baby sis! OMG! You look rather skenzy for a mom oh”, Layefa said as he lifted Tejiri off the ground. They were so touching, I almost cried. Almost. But seriously though, watching Layefa with his siblings made me jealous. If you saw how they chat on msn, you’d think they were more than brother and sister sef. They talked about everything!

“My man! How far now? The freshest daddy on the block, eh?” Emeka greeted Kome. They did that shake guys do that they now slap themselves on the back.
Thinking about it, Kome and Tejiri were rather young to start a family. What is it with Nigerians and starting families right after marriage? The girl was barely 22! She only just graduated from uni last year! Na wa oh, I thought.

After all the greetings and oohing and aahing over the baby, we all sat down to gist and talk about random things. “So you guys thought of any baby names?” I asked Kome who was now sitting by my side. “Ah, about that. Tj already had names for all our future children even before the wedding!” he replied. We all laughed. This time I didn’t even have to fake it. “Yes now. Rainbow, Gucci and Paris!” Tj said proudly as she gulped her juice. This time we laughed even harder. Those two were bare jokes, I tell ya.
“She’s serious oh. She’s been saying that ever since forever” Layefa added. We shook our heads in amusement.
“So Kome’s cool with them? Gucci? What the hell, Tj?” Elohor said biting into a piece of fried chicken Another thing about all these Thompson family get-togethers is the scrumptious food. Mrs. Thompson sure knew how to select her house staff.

Shrugging, Kome said, “Anything for my baby”. He blew Tejiri an air-kiss. She feigned catching it in her hands then blew him one back. Cuuuttee. Layefa smiled and looked over at me. I smiled back at him and quickly looked away. I didn’t have his time right now.

If those Elohor’s bratty kids were here they’d have probably said something like, “I guess it’s just Aunt Delores that’s left now” or “What names would you name your kids, Aunt Delores?” I wondered how they acted with their parents.

Timi started a discussion about how hard it is to raise children nowadays with the cost of education sky-rocketing and all. We all engaged ourselves in the discussion, arguing whether it was worth it to clear your bank account for a child whose future you’re not even sure about. Layefa and I were careful not to say much though. With someone like Elohor at the table, if we just mistakenly said something that didn’t favour anyone, she could just say “It’s not like you know anyway, wait ill you have your own kids first”.

“Abeg someone should call that Alice girl oh” Emeka said, “We need a refill of this jug and more chicken”. “I’ll go get them” I offered a little too quickly. Don’t blame me abeg. Would you choose to sit at a table where everyone was talking about the latest YSL hat collection and you weren’t the least bit interested in hats? I think not! I was glad for an excuse to get away for a moment. Don’t go thinking all the talk about kids was making me uneasy or sad oh. I was just dulled.

“I’ll help you” Layefa said jumping up. He followed me into the house, into the kitchen. When I had told Alice what to do, I whispered, “I didn’t need any help!” “Don’t be like this, Dee”, “Told ya we would iron everything out at home” he replied with an apologetic smile. “Uh huh” I said, “Ehen, What is all this about me buying stuff for the baby? At least tell me something now incase decides to interrogate my life”. He quickly filled me in on all the stuff he sent to Tj and Kome as me while Alice re-filled the jug and served more fried chicken on the tray.

“Here you go” I said, pouring juice into Emeka’s glass. Layefa passed the chicken round. “Thanks sweetie.” Emeka replied. I smiled sweetly at him. He was such a darling compared to his wife. One time, I ran into him during a rainstorm when my car was stuck at the palms and he drove me all the way home to get a change of clothes and back to the office. Sweet guy.


Saturday, November 7, 2009


I just stared at him. I wasn’t even annoyed that he made me forfeit my hair appointment, I was mad that he didn’t even tell me Tejiri was expecting a baby! I know I’ve never been close to any of Layefa’s siblings but that doesn’t change the fact that he should have told me. I wondered what she thinks of me now. She’ll most likely think I was too jealous to congratulate her. I hissed.
“You know I didn’t know she was even pregnant” I said looking out the window. Calmness is the way forward, I warned myself silently. Raising your voice wouldn’t make things any better, Delores, I told myself.

“We should talk about this when we get home” Layefa said just as he turned into the driveway of his parents’ house. Taking a deep breath, I turned off the car stereo and continued to stare out the window. What reason in the world could Layefa probably have for not telling me about Tejiri? All this bickering between us was getting rather old.
My cell phone beeped in my purse. It was Funmi checking up on me. I wasn’t in the mood to talk right then so I hit the ignore key. I made a mental note to call her back later.

“Ah Oga! Welcome! Welcome! Good afternoon oh” The gateman greeted Layefa as he parked. “Good afternoon, Mohammed” Layefa replied as he turned round to open my door for me. I got out and muffled “Thanks” while brushing past him. I didn’t even acknowledge Mohammed’s greeting. I stuck my clutch under my arm and marched to the front door with an emotionless face.
“Dee, you need to chill. Please. Especially while we’re here.” Layefa whispered softly as he caught with me. “Fine”, I said pursing my lips while he took my arm in his. We pressed the doorbell.
The thing with Layefa’s family is that underneath all their pretentiousness, they’re actually all right people. They may put up a performance worthy of an Emmy trying to convince everyone they were perfect but it didn’t necessarily make them bad people. Like today for example, Layefa probably thought his new Salvatore Ferragamo shoes would distract his family from the coldness between us. The sonuvabitch! He knew he was gonna upset me! , I thought as the maid came to the door. She curtsied and ushered us into the living room. “Thank you, Alice” Layefa smiled. Ode. He must think he gets some prize for remembering all the domestic staff’s names.
“Daddy!” I cried pasting my bestest Julia Roberts smile on. I rushed to hug him as he rose to greet us. “My dear Delores, how are you?” Mr. Thompson replied hugging me. “I’m very well, sir. How are you?” I said as we pulled apart. Layefa was probably too shocked for words because he just stood there watching us. After we had asked about work and my parents, we finally remembered someone else was in the room. “Good afternoon, dad” Layefa said, “Where’s everyone?” “Afternoon, Layefa. They’re out on the patio. Emeka just left for the bathroom, though. We’ve been talking.” Mr. Thompson replied. “Oh. Okay. Let me say hello to them then I’ll come join you guys in here.”Layefa said taking my hand.
We headed for the patio hand in hand like giddy teenagers. “Heyyyy guys!”Layefa called pushing back the sliding doors. I smiled shyly and waved, “Hiii”. We exchanged hellos and how are yous then I took a seat next to Felicia (Timi, Layefa’s older brother’s wife). Layefa went to join his dad and brother-in-law in the living room.
“Tejiri and Kome will be here soon with the baby” Elohor (Layefa’s older sister, Emeka’s wife) informed me. I nodded smiling. I really didn’t like Elohor very much. She is so bossy and not as pretty as she thinks. Her snotty spoiled daughters are worse than her, though. I don’t think there are any teenage girls as bad as those two. The last time I saw them, the older one was carrying the exact same purse I had. My £250 patent quilted Chanel bag. You wouldn’t believe what the brat said to me, “Yours looks like the knockoff. Are you sure the Chanel hasn’t got two ns?” I was so close to slapping her teeth outta her mouth. Thank God for self-control. I was so grateful they weren’t here today.
“How are the girls?” I asked Elohor. It didn’t hurt to be civil, did it? After all, na acting all of us dey do, abi?

“They’re here!” Felicia cried pointing at the sliding door as Kome held it open for Tejiri who was holding the baby. Oh shit, I thought, here goes.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


I reached into my handbag for a hairbrush as I climbed up the stairs. If it was really bad news people might be here with Layefa to break it to me and I couldn’t be caught dead with raggedy hair. Really.
“Layefa!” I called at the top of the stairs. I guess waiting the ten seconds I waited for him to come out of the bedroom was probably when it hit me that I something extremely ghastly could have happened. With my hand on my chest, I walked slowly to the bedroom. I stared at the door for about a second before I pushed it open.

“Heeeheeeheee…I’m serious! No, really…”Layefa was saying loudly amidst chuckles to someone on the phone while typing on his laptop. Jayz’s new album was blaring on his iPod dock. Blank stare is an understatement of the look I had on my face. He was talking so loudly he didn’t even hear me come in. I noticed he had changed out of the baggy shorts and T-shirt he was wearing when I left that morning. He was now wearing a crisp white danshiki (that traditional shirt Nigerian men wear) and white pants. He was even wearing his new Salvatore Ferragamo shoes!

The first time I called softly, “Layefa”. “Man, you are evil! Ah ahn!” he continued laughing on the phone.

The second time: “Baby” I said louder than the first time.

The third time: “Layefa!” I almost shouted.

When he didn’t turn around I flung my hairbrush at him I missed though. It hit his laptop instead. “Shit! What the-?” he jumped. Turning around, he caught the vicious glare I was giving him. “Oh, baby” He said quickly. Then “Bruv, I’ll call you right back” to the person on the phone.

“Dee, I hope you didn’t break any of my keys oh” he said walking over to me with a bright smile and his arms open. He motioned to hug me but I simply folded my arms and continued to glare at him. “What’s the matter, Hon?” he asked like he had no idea how scared he made me. He probably didn’t but that wasn’t the point. I was just so pissed that I was feeling so angry at Layefa. Until that day that I woke up and didn’t find him by my side, I’d never felt anything close to anger at Layefa before. Not that he’d never ever gotten on my nerves but he just never made me want to claw his brains out.

“I should be asking you” I said brushing his hand away from my shoulder."And who were you talking to? “Baby, don’t tell me you’re mad cuz of your hair. It looks hot this way now.I was talking to Daniel oh.He's back in town” He stroked my hair. “Besides, you can always go back” he tickled my waist.I couldn’t help but smile the way he was smiling and touching me lovingly. “So, nothing happened?” I asked as Layefa planted kisses all over my neck. “Oh. Just my parents are having us all over for lunch”. He said in between kissing me. “I missed you, baby” he quickly added. We made out for while before I remembered he was already dressed. “Why didn’t you jus let me finish my hair?” I said softly pulling away. Dang, my baby takes my breath away, I thought as I looked into Layefa’s eyes.
I hurriedly slipped into a green and blue floral print dress while Layefa explained how it was short notice and reminded how his dad hated lateness and didn’t accept traffic as an excuse.

I rememebered the first Christmas I spent with the Thompsons. It was hell! First of all, we got there around five for a Lunch party that was supposed to start at one. Mr.Thompson was furious and didnt hesistate to show his irritation for lateness. He practically scolded us! I had never felt so small and stupid in my life. Then all his cousins and sisters were rocking designer stuff from their mascara to their toe nail polish. literally. As at that time, i'd just started work so my collection of Versace,Gucci,Victoria Beckham and Fendi wasnt worth a whole lot. Apart from the stuff Layefa had gotten me, i pretty much didnt have much. They were so mean to me. Asking questions like: "where did you get that plain purse?" "Are those real pearls?" "Sweetie, I dont think red is your colour". Bitches. They should se me now.

"You like?" i asked twirling around in my dress in front of Layefa. He blew me a kiss and said "Perfect!" As in, he just knew what i wanted to hear all the time.

"I'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me,pa-pa-pa-papparazzi" i sang slong with Lady Gaga on the radio. "Baby!" i called as layefa almost hit some guy's car. he muttered that the guy was too slow to be on the road. i went back to my singing till he almost hit another car. "Where's your head at, Layefa?" i asked turning down the volume of the radio.
He cleared his throat twice before he finally said, "You know i hate lying to you,baby", he started. i turned to face him, a frown forming on my face.
"okay, So you remember how i told you this Lunch was short notice?" he continued. i nodded. For crying out loud,Layefa, stop acting funny, i thought.
"Well.It wasnt.My mom invited us since Tuesday.Tejiri delivered a baby girl." Layefa said driving into the turning His parents house was on.

Monday, November 2, 2009


hey people! I"m so sorry i've been late with posting Seven. I have been real busy with school but i promise to post the other half in a few hours.thanx for reading btw! x

one week later.....

" C'mon Funmi, choose something now" i begged. I'd been trying to get my friend, Funmi Dada, to help me pick a hairstyle from a magazine for over twenty minutes. "Dee, i dont know for you oh. You're tired of curls,you dont want something too long,you dont want something too short,you dont want something that's just there!". What the hell did i want?! Kiki told me i'd been neglecting my hair so i decided to get rid of the brazillian weave(for a while) and try something different.
"How bout that Ciara's do?" i asked shoving the mag in Funmi's face. She offered to accompany me and make sure i dont come out looking like shrek and now she thinks she can just sit there and let me decide on my own? Mumu girl. "Ooooh...I didnt see that one before! it'll suit your face so well! yes! yes! yes!" She replied. Finally.

So i sat back and let my hairdresser do her thing. "Ehen,continue that your Jennifer gist" i said to funmi. "You and gist shaa!Where did i even stop?" she replied. "I remember. It was the part where she told him he'd have to buy her a dress,shey?" she quickly added. i nodded. Funmi and Kiki were the best gisters ever!
"So thats how he now went to order straight from Marc Jacobs new collection!" Funmi exclaimed almost causing the hairdresser to stab me with the scissors she was using.
“Ah ahn. Ko ma easy oh (it’s not easy oh)” I added. “I know oh. That daft Jennifer just had to fuck up. Do you know what she now did?” Funmi continued. How would I know? “She decided that she would prove to him that she wasn’t with him for material benefits by starting a fight a week to the Show so he would think she wasn’t all that interested”. Shaking my head, I said, “Like she hadn’t already made that obvious when she was giving him terms and conditions.”
Just as Funmi was about to continue, my phone rang. I rummaged in my handbag for my phone as a few people in the salon sang along with my M.I ring tone. It was Layefa calling. I hit the answer button hurriedly. “Hey baby!” I said with a grin as wide as Lagos to London (according to Funmi). “Hey Dee. You still at the beauty salon?” he asked. There was just something about Layefa’s voice that I couldn’t get enough of. He still had a slight American accent intertwined with his Nigerian intonation. “Yeah, babe. What’s up?” I replied. “Well, you probably have to leave right now.” He said sharply. I waited for some form of explanation and when I didn’t get one I said, “Why? Did something happen? I only just started.” I don’t know what I thought he was gonna say but I was thinking more of something like “I’m missing you way too much, baby. Come home already!” not “I’ll explain later. Just leave soonest.” This was what Layefa said.
As you may have expected, paranoia started to kick in after that. Had somebody died? Did he need me to come home so he could break the news gently? Had the house caught fire? Did we just get robbed? All sorts of horrible thoughts clouded my mind. I hung up and gathered my stuff hurriedly.
“What’s going on? Ah ahn…are we leaving?” Funmi asked getting up from her seat. I stole a glance at the mirror in front of me; my hair was nowhere close to being sexy. “I’m coming back” I gruffly said to the shocked hairdresser. Funmi was quite shocked at my sudden change of disposition as well. “Dee, did something happen? That was Layefa on the phone right?” Funmi pestered as she picked up her bag. “Let’s just go” I said quietly heading for the door.
As we walked towards the car, I said “Yeah, it was Layefa. He didn’t tell me anything tangible, he just said I should head home fast”. Funmi nodded understandingly. “I hope nothing serious has happened oh” she whispered. I threw my stuff into the backseat of my car and settled in the driver’s seat while Funmi climbed into the passenger’s seat beside me. “Babe, sorry for wasting your time oh. Abeg ehn?” I pleaded as I pulled out of the parking lot. “Waste ke? At all now. When last did we hang out like this?” she replied saying it was alright. “Sheyyy. E don tey oh” I said trying to lighten up. On the way to Funmi’s house we just talked about random nonsense. She knew where my mind was at and didn’t even bother pressing me about it. That’s why I love my friends. They just get me.
“Later sweetie. Take it easy oh. I’ll call you” Funmi called as she climbed out of the car at the entrance of her street. I nodded, waved and drove off. The kain speed at which I drove home ehn, Lastma would have sooo arrested me if they were on the road.
As soon as I shut the door behind me, I yelled “Layefa! I’m home oh!” Didn’t he hear my car driving in?