“You got your bible?” Layefa asked as he turned the key in the ignition. I nodded and he drove out. I turned on the car stereo and inserted my Lady Gaga CD. We sang along with the songs we knew but skipped the rest. I wore my jewellery and hurriedly applied my make-up.
“We’re late, shey?” Layefa asked as we approached the church building. “Not really sha” I replied unbuckling my seatbelt and stealing a glance at watch. It was just 6:07. Layefa quickly parked the car and we got out. We walked briskly hand in hand into the church. I waved at one of the ushers I was familiar with before we took our seats at one of the middle pews.
In the middle of the service while Pastor Tapu was preaching, Layefa tapped my thigh then whispered in my ear, “Have I told bout Saida at all?” I shook my head and gestured that I was tryna pay attention to the Gospel. “Sorry oh” he said pulling away. My baby could be so dense at times. Why would he pick the middle of the Gospel to tell me about some rude lady-friend of his? I wasn’t jealous sha so I poked him playfully in the ribs with my pen and said, “You should listen too”.
“Girl you gon’ think, girl you gon’ think…” Layefa sang along with Trey Songz on the radio as we drove back home. “That Trey dude is rather hot oh” I said playing with his fingers. “He is?” Layefa asked. “Yes oh.He’s like the hottest thing on MTV right now. Seriously. You need to hear how Kiki’s younger sister was going on about him the last time I was at their house!” I said. “What is so special bout him sef? Those razz tattoos? Na wa oh! Girls!” Layefa said. Then we started arguing about the tattoos in question. In the middle of our argument whether trey’s tattoos were razz or cool, Saida called again.
“Hey Saida”, Layefa answered. “I’m all right. How bout you?” he said after she’d probably asked him how he was. “Is that right?” he said trying to choke back laughter. “You’re not serious Saida!” “I don’t know about that oh” “Where are you by the way? It’s rather noisy” “Me? Uh…that lekki road oh. Just passed Chicken Republic.” “I’m on my way home from church” “Yeah.Evening service”. “It’s inside phase 1.Yeah” “Really? Eeyahh.” “Like in about fifteen minutes”. He laughed out loud then, “Sure. All right then.” He laughed again then, “Okay, no problem. Later!” He hung up.
The babe must have been funnier than Chris rock cuz Layefa was still chuckling after he hung up. “Ehen! You said I haven’t told you about Saida?” he said turning towards me. “You’ve not told me oh”, I said, “Abeg eyes on the road oh” I added. Turning back to the road he said, “She works with the Lagos Development Bank. They’re partnering with us for this Fashola case”. I nodded. “She’s only twenty-eight but she’s one of the oga’s in the legal department. She’s so fucking smart! She even got a first class from Oxford!” he continued excitedly. “Wow. She sounds real smart. When did y’all pair up?” I threw in before he could sing the bitch anymore praises. “Just this Friday oh. But she’s like so friendly so once we exchanged numbers and email addresses, we just started flowing. Cant believe it skipped my mind to tell you.” Layefa replied. “Oh. I bet she is. She’s kinda pretty too” I said looking up at Layefa. He looked at me weirdly. That’s right buster! I saw her picture with half her breastices out, I said in my mind. “You saw the picture? Well, I guess she’s all right. Just there. You know how these Janded girls are now, when they get your number, they get your caller picture with it. I decided to get hers too. Just for fun, you know” he said as he drove into vgc. I was going to say “Layefa, that girl was not ‘Just there’ and you know it” but instead I said, “Uh huh”.
Just as Layefa pulled up in front of the house, you wouldn’t believe what I saw coming out from the car parked across the street.