fourteen

Drying my hands on my towel, I said, “Who is it?” “Some Tunde guy” Layefa replied handing me the phone. “Tunde?” I asked. The only Tunde that came to mind there and then was Tunde from accounting. I didn’t even know he had my phone number. “Delores, how are you?” he replied. Hearing the cheerful voice, I knew it was definitely Tunde Ojo. “Hi Tunde! I’m good oh. How u dey?” I said. “I jus dey oh. Just thought to check on you” he replied. “Awww. How sweet of you”. I said. “Yeah. That and I just heard some mother call her daughter Delores. As in I was so shocked that people actually still name their kids Delores” Tunde continued. “You’re not serious oh. What are you trying to say? That Delores is a yamayama name?” I joked. He laughed, then said “At all oh...don’t mind me joh. How is your husband?” “He is very well, thank you. How are your sister and her family?” I said. “They are all good, thanks to God. It was really nice talking to you today, Delores,” he replied. “Yeah, you too, Tunde. See you tomorrow?” I said. “Yeah, have a lovely day,” he replied. We hung up. I looked at Layefa. He had this ‘I’m-not-even-gonna-ask look. The last time we talked about Tunde, I was complaining about how his constant cheerfulness irritated me. I just shrugged and threw the phone back on the bed. As I headed to the closet to pick out an outfit, Layefa said, “It’s like I’m going to shower oh”. “Better be fast sha…”, I started to say when I saw the clock. “it’s four-thirty!”. The service started at six sharp so we had to leave the house by five or be late.
I picked out one of my favourite Ankara dresses and placed it on the bed. Just as I was picking shoes, Layefa’s phone rang. “Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire…” his phone blared. It took me about a twenty seconds to find it under the pillow.
It was some Saida chic. He even had her picture saved with her number. “Layefa! Phone!” I yelled opening the bathroom door. “Huh?” he asked.
I decided to just pick up. “Hello?” I said. “Sweetie…” a sultry female voice with a thick mixture of British and Hausa accent replied. I almost said “Sweetie? Bitch you must have the wrong number!” but my momma taught me better than that. And really, what was the big deal in a lady calling Layefa. I mean he was totally cool when he picked up Tunde’s call. Right?
Clearing my throat I said, “Uh…Layefa’s in the bathroom right now. He’ll call you back, ok?”. I can swear I heard her mutter, “Damn! I can imagine!”. But then she said, “Oh. Alright then.” She replied and hung up immediately. No thank you? Did I sound like a fucking receptionist? Hissing, I slipped on my dress and shoes.
“Dee, what were were you saying?” Layefa said coming out of the bathroom. “you had
a phone call,” I said, “Saida”. His mouth formed an ‘O’ as he hurriedly threw a shirt on. It was five minutes to five. We were practically late already.
“You picked up? What did she say?” he asked. “Oh. Nothing. Told her you’ll call her back”, I replied. He nodded just as he zipped up his trousers. “You ready?” he asked gesturing towards the clock. I grabbed my jewellery and make-up purse, stuffed them in my bag and said, “Yep, meet ya downstairs!” if he wasn’t going to talk about the Saida babe, why should I?